Too early in her life she had distanced herself from her family. She had since selfishly furnished her life with what – ‘she needs’, ‘she wants’, ‘is good for her’ and ‘she couldn’t live without’.
The seemingly firm walls of this establishment were coming down crashing around her, without making a sound.
Lying in bed, she turned to her side and pulled up her knees to her chest just like she would when she was 9. Today she felt an excessive need to be touched, comforted. She held her own shoulder soothingly, feeling the warmth of the blanket on her knuckles. She was guarding herself against the conundrum but a question haunted her. ‘What do I lack in life?’. Incidents that occurred and things that she was made to hear, earlier in the day, had brought her to these sorry thoughts. Exhausted she shut her eyes tighter. A memory flashed behind those closed eyes:
She was lying in bed, tossing, turning and fighting the sunlight trickling in from the window. She heard her mother enter the room. Mother stood there softly calling out her name. She sat up and opened her eyes but sleep still lingered in the haziness of her sight. Her mother moved closer to rub her back while kissing her head. Petulantly she cried out, forcing her mother to withdraw. She watched her mother’s smile vanish but decided to scream at her anyway.
The memory was gone.
She turned to lie flat on her back staring at the blank ceiling. She closed her eyes again. This time wishing she would fall asleep. A few tears made their way from the sides of her eyes. But there was no one around anymore to wipe those tears away for her.
I am linking this post up to Yeah Write, which has turned 2 whole years old. And what’s awesome is that they have been there without breaks, every week bringing a bunch of cool writers together. You know what you’ve missed all this time only after you have linked up here!