Too Big To Fail: Have Sand For Lunch

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And dig up some royal graves. That could be one of my fancies doing their thing. Only that it’s not.

For as long I can remember I wanted to be an Egyptologist. At the age of 14 after reading Roger L. Green’s Tales of Ancient Egypt, I felt pretty sure that I was on the right track to nothing less than greatness. In 2003, there had been a curfew at my home because I had to watch the Discovery TV special on the search for Queen Nefertiti’s lost mummy. All this was very well and lasting till I grew some sense. The sense that – guess what Me you don’t have money to go do cool stuff like this and you could totally end up depressed, bankrupt, unemployed and dehydrated if you pursue this. Things would have been different if I was guaranteed that I will never fail.
Then I wouldn’t have consoled myself and everyone else that once I get my engineering degree and make enough money to waste, I’ll travel to Egypt chasing my dreams. That major career leap is yet to happen though since I am hardly an engineer right now.

But let’s go Jimmy Fallon on this and draw the pros and cons of the Egyptology endeavour.

Pros:

1. As I said: dig up royal graves!

2. Can wear khakis and cargo pants everyday!

3. Use that teeny-tiny brush to clean up unearthed artefacts.

4. Oh and I can compare my height with that of the Great Pyramid at Giza, shoulder to shoulder. That’s supposed to be funny, see the lameness?

5. Learn language?
Don’t trust myself on that much.

6. Owing to the little I know about curses and spells; they continue to sound fascinating. I mean the pyramid-security-alarm-ones.

7. It’s warm! Yeah, life does things to you that warm, sultry, scorching – anything is better than my usual weather.

Cons:

1. I don’t know if I was being childish with all the fantasies then or am being lazy for not trying now. Going nowhere with this.

2. I wish the modern day Egypt was only made up of pyramids and pharaohs. But honestly it is made of anything but.
And with the Egyptian protests spread all over the news, my ambitions lose most of their appetite.

3. Umm…I might need to a learn a language. I feel too old for that now.

4. I am currently thoroughly uniformed but is there anything left to still figure about the aforesaid paradigm of archaeology?

Finally,

I could have been in that other time zone digging up something epic, or maybe just animal excrement in my brown khakis if absolute no-fail-guarantees were made. While back in this timezone at 3am, I wouldn’t be needing to add an item to my to-dos: read THAT Ancient Egypt book again.

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