Siri hates my kitten.

After procrastinating the big shopping day for a week and even watching videos on how not to procrastinate, Turtur decided to start making a list for shopping.


Picking up his iPhone in all it’s wooden-case glory, he spoke to Siri…………..”Siri, remind me to buy litter for Tango“. Tango being our kitten and litter being, well, the place where my kitten does his noxious deed. And also the place that Siri seems to be utterly unaware of.


What followed was a process more gruelling and frustrating than being stuck on the toll-free line of your phone company’s customer care.

firby v siri


Let me tell you a story worth a thousand words with a picture:



The next afternoon after reflecting on this grave situation with the devil residing in our iPhones, we decided to try a sentence that Siri SHOULD never be able to guess correct. And because we have such classic, raunchy tastes, we went with the lewdest, most disturbing sentence we could make:



Our Siri really does complement us well now, doesn’t she?

Bewildered and wild with tears of laughter, we tried some more; accents from Boston to Birmingham, Siri in US English to UK English, and without fail, Siri kept reminding us to buy liquor for our kitten, now renamed, Bangle.

Photo 560Photo 561

After some more manic laughing, hysterical screaming at our stubborn iPhones to remind us to buy poor, poor Tango some litter and silent disciplining into good behaviour by our Siri, we gave up and went retro. Yes, in the year 2014, we made a list by typing in data into our phones.


But you know what hurts most though?

……..that Google understands Us, loyal Apple people, better than Siri.


Photo 550


I just hope Siri ups her game soon because there is a very small place for deaf or phonetically challenged people in this world.



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